The educational department

Statistics irrefutably show that people are getting stupider. When was the last time you harnessed the power of electricity, wrote The Tempest or formulated the Periodic Table? Never, that's when. Mankind's proudest achievements are all in the past, and with each generation we're sliding backwards down the evolutionary chain. You're an idiot, and your children don't even bear thinking about.

Praise be, then, for the Happy Squid, rising gloriously out of the sordid internet quagmire and embarking on a puritanical mission to inform, educate and edify. This is your first stop for erudite commentary on matters of cultural and historical significance, and probably your only chance to disembark from the handcart that the rest of society is gleefully riding into the depths of Hades. The battle against ignorance starts here. Not literally here, for god's sake; down there, look.

- Creative Blocks
Citizens! Be on your guard against blocks. Garros says so.
- A short history of cassettes
Read up on the world's first truly portable audio format, then copy it on to C60 and swap it for a pirated Erasure album at school tomorrow.
- The five stages of Facebook
Cogent psychological analysis of the emotional journey experienced by newcomers to the social networking phenomenon. Fast becoming the handbook of choice for Facebook addicts the world over.
- The Radiohead recap
An objective and illuminating dissection of the greatest works of the best and most influentual rock band in the world, except for Scouting for Girls.
- The story of Mario
Mario: portly caricature, or iconic definer of the zeitgeist? Investigate his history here, from conception to galaxy-straddling giganticity.