Pirates: a nautical Lego photo story

Rupert and Geoffrey are pirates. They're rather pleased with themselves today, since they've found some treasure whilst drifting around on their raft.

'Geoffrey,' says Rupert, 'I do declare that nothing could spoil this splendid day of piracy!'

Suddenly, something on the horizon catches Geoffrey's eye.

'Oh, drat!' exclaims Rupert. 'It's the Governor's ship. I daresay they've come to spoil our fun, what?'


'Now then, now then, now then,' says the Governor, from his lofty perch. 'We'll be taking that treasure, thank you very much.'

'This is a blasted inconvenience, eh, Geoffrey?' says Rupert.

'Rather!' concurs Geoffrey.

The pirates are escorted to the Governor's fort. 'It's the clink for you, Jim Lads!' barks the bearded officer.

And so it was.

'Reminds me of my gap year in Thailand,' jokes Rupert. Geoffrey does not look amused.

Meanwhile, back at pirate headquarters, Rupert and Geoffrey's raft has floated ashore.

Bos'n Julian is perplexed. 'I say, Cap'n; isn't that Rupe and Geoff's raft? Where the blazes are the blessed chaps?'

'Looks as if they've got themselves captured again,' sighs Cap'n Smythe. 'We'd better rally the troops, I suppose.'

Smythe and Julian break the news to Rupert's girlfriend, Nigella.

'What-ho, Nigella! Just off to emancipate the chaps again. Would invite you along, but it's man's work, sort of thing, what?'

'Poppycock!' retorts Nigella, indignantly. 'Just because I apply my lipstick like Ms Pac-Man, it doesn't mean I can't handle a musket or two. I'm coming with; let me just fetch my bag.'

Due to budgetary constraints, the pirates' only mode of transportation is a small rowing boat.

'Blast it all, Cap'n!' mutters Bos'n Julian. 'With Nigella on board, we've got two gigantic oars and one gigantic wh-'

'Yes, that's quite enough, thank you, Julian,' interrupts Smythe, diplomatically.

The companions set off on their arduous journey.

'I'll sail this ship alone, between the sharks and the treasure,' sings Julian.

'Technically,' Nigella interjects, 'you're rowing a boat in the company of two other people.'

'Besides,' adds Cap'n Smythe, 'nobody else knows that song, so you're just confusing the issue. Shut up and row.'

Later on, Smythe spots the Governor's fort through his telescope.

'They're all dancing the conga again. This should be fairly straightforward, as usual.'

Nigella is affronted. 'Oh, what torture!' she exclaims. 'Rupert and Geoffrey love the conga, and they're cooped up in that tiny cell. Those soldiers are simply horrid!'

While the Governor's men are busy, the pirate pals climb over the wall using a handy ladder.

'Thank the Lord!' shouts Rupert, through the window of the cell. 'There's no room in here to conga at all. Geoffrey is positively pooped!'

The soldiers' party becomes more raucous, so our salty chums help themselves to one of the Governor's shiny red rowing boats. While Nigella and Rupert get reacquainted, the others take back their treasure, and head for home.

'What a spiffing adventure, eh?' declares Rupert, back at the hideout. 'And back in time for dinner, too!'

'Let's all celebrate by doing the conga!' suggests Nigella.

So they do.

The End.